Hi again!

So I have returned. I hope to be able to post more often from now on. We'll see. I have started two jobs since I last blogged and my kids are still a handfull! A wonderful handfull, but still a handfull to say the least.

I've started working at a local book/movie rental/music/coffee store. It's fun! So far. The Hubster and I have worked our schedules around to where one of us can be with the kids. It gives me a needed break and a few extra dollars in our bank account. I'm also the song leader at my church which gives me a chance to actually keep singing because I really needed to start singing again. It fulfills a great big hole that was in my heart. I'm still teaching voice lessons and I hope to pick up a few more students soon.

Smasher is HUGE! He'll be two in December and is about the size of a three year old! He is all boy. He jumps off couches and porches and ends up black-eyes and bloody lips. He's usually fine a few seconds after the incident, but still, I hate to see him hurt. We're going to start potty-training him soon. I bought the stuff to make his "potty chart" with stickers and all. He seems interested in apparently peed on the floor of his dad's bathroom right next the toilet while visiting him this weekend. I get him back in an hour or so. I missed him this weekend.

BG is five months old today and I can hardly believe it. She is very long and skinny. She still weighs less than 14lbs which is starnge to me since I'm used to the monster-sized baby Smasher was. She's so happy and typically just sits and smiles at you. She loves to be on her stomach and I think she'll be crawling before too long. She also loves to talk. She's so pretty!

Everything is going well. Just hanging in there. We're trying to find a larger house. We've outgrown our two bedroom house and really are looking for a three bedroom. We would like to buy but just aren't at a place where we can right now. We'll probably start saving for a down payment and try to get a place soon. The Hubster's been going to school and working like crazy and I can't wait to get back to school. It's been a little crazy because all of our parents (except my dad) are living in Enid right now. Our kids will be SPOILED!!!!

It's been a while

I've been a little busy.

Smasher is getting into his terrible two's and things at our house are in constant disarray. I'm trying to stay clam. I'm trying to keep my patience with him, but it's getting harder and harder. Somedays I feel like selling him to the highest bidder. But...then the night time comes and I put him down to bed and he smiles at me and gives me my hugs and even says "nigh-nigh" sometimes, and I feel on top of the world. Last night was an exception. He cried every thirty minutes ALL night long! It was horrible. He finally chilled when The Hubster brought him into our room when he left for work this morning. We both got about 4 hours of uninterrupted sleep. It was blissful.

BG is doing well. She's growing up so fast and is developing her own little personality. She's so funny and usually a VERY easy going little girl. But when she does want something, she will let you know! She's 14 and a half weeks old now which is so weird that she's already that old. She's going to be such a neat little kid though, I can already tell.

Truth be told, my kids are incredible. My husband is amazing and I'm one lucky girl. Things aren't going so great right now due to some plumbing problems our landlord is not able to fix right now and The Hubster is waiting to hear back about a couple of jobs, but I know that when God does put things into motion, it's going to be incredible!!!

Kid for Rent

Smasher is being a MONSTER this evening! He was great all the rest of the day though. Maybe he's just super tired. I don't know, but it needs to end. NOW!

It's been a busy day around here. There is a six-feet deep trench that stretches the entire length of my front yard and driveway. Or there was until they hastily tried to fill it in so I could at least get over to the car parked across the street without having to drag Smash (who I have to carry for fear he'll run in to the trench) and a car seat down to my neighbors drive way to cross the street and walk back up again. It's an inconvenience but the plumbers (it's a sewer thing) are super nice and very considerate. They even offered to help me carry the kids but it was alright. Smasher is in heaven as there has been a John Deere back-hoe in my yard all day. He thinks it's a tractor, which he's obsessed with, and even said his first sentence today (that I've heard anyway.) He said, "Look, Mama. Tractor!!!" I was impressed and very proud of my little man.

I was trying to put Smasher's new toddler bed together when BG (Shy's new name - Baby Girl, thanks to her daddy) started screaming her lungs out! She screaming, not cried, for 45 minutes straight. It was horrible! Smasher would start crying when she did and then she's chill out and Smash would mess with her causing her to cry again and then for him to cry. Again. The toddler bed is still in pieces. I finally got them chilled except that Smash is being especially cranky. Early to bed for him tonight. Assuming I get the bed put together anyway. How is it that when you get a second hand bed, all the pieces are NEVER there? Oh well, grateful for it anyways!

Oh and the screaming ensues!

Ciao

Playing the waiting game...

The Hubster and I are sitting up at the hospital waiting on the arrival of our friends baby girl. The Hubster thinks he's ready for another. I told him that when he can carry and deliver said baby, I'm ready. Just kidding. I'm sure Smasher and Shy will have another sibling at some point. All I ask is that the other two be out of diapers first. I like babies, I just don't like having them. Especially after having this last one just about ruined my life for 9 months. The passing out all the time and then not healing properly was just about more than I could bear.

This particular friend has been friends with The Hubster for a long long time and I just adore him and his wife. We spent the better part of our pregnancies being pregnant at the same time. And really there is nothing that bonds two women together faster than being pregnant together. She's going to be a great mom and he's going to be a great dad. I'm really excited for them! They're also having a little girl and since Shy and she will be so close in age, I'm hoping that they will be good friends.

So, CONGRATS GUYS!!!

A hard week

It's been a hard week. I miss Smasher. He drives me crazy most of the time when he is here, but the silence of him not being here drives me even crazier. I know that it's good for him to spend time with his dad's side of the family. It's good for everyone. But it's so hard to be away from him. I've seen several pictures of him from them past week and he seems so much older and bigger than the last time I saw him, which was over a week ago. It seems like it's been a year since I have seen him though. I have this vision in my mind of getting him back tomorrow and he's all grown up. In fact, in one picture that his Uncle Scott took of him yesterday he looks like he is four years old and has the most mischievous look on his face while he's splashing through the puddles. He likes splashing through puddles.

Oh WoW!

That's right, folks. I play World of Warcraft. Not as frequently as I'd like, but I have have two kids so it's to be expected. I've been playing, off and on, for about four years now. I'll play for a while, become bored and ultimately, cancel my monthly subscription. I usually come back to it about three-six months later. My husband and several of my friends play as well.

Well, The Hubster got a new (to him) computer. We got a new computer back in February for both of us to use but the other day he found a great deal on a 17in HP with some pretty awesome specs, so he got it. We were planning on getting another computer when his Pell Grant money came in since we are both planning on returning to school sooner rather than later. We'll I guess he already is, but I am too.

So, what am I doing right now? Loading WoW onto his new laptop. Fun stuff, huh? But it should be fun as we will both be able to play at the same time now and maybe do some dungeons together. Am I a nerd? Yes. But I embrace it.

I just started a new pali so I'm going to go play it on my computer.

And she smiles!

My daughter has the most beautiful smile in the entire world!!! Okay, so does my son, but I'm used to his, even though I still comment about how much I love his smile. But Shy's is NEW! In the last week she's started to smile and I mean really smile! She never really smiled as a newborn even we she did have gas. But I even got a little laugh out of her yesterday. The Hubster got one the day before. I was explaining to him how strange a baby's laugh sounds at first. I assured him that one day it will turn into the laugh that he loves so much from Smasher.

She was laughing at me trying to give her her pacifier. I've been extremely lucky as both of my kids never really seemed to take to the pacifier. Shy will spit it out after about five minutes and so did Smash. I have a strict no pacifier policy after three months anyway. I just don't like them and don't want to have to break my kids of them. So, Shy has one more month to spit them out and then they're all going in the trash!

The weekend should be fun. I kind of wish I was staying in town, but alas, we're going to Muskogee to visit The Hubster's dad. Smash is going to my grandparent's yet again, but they're going to meet up with Smasher's Apple and he'll spend the week with her and his aunt. The Smash Dad will pick him up and then I'll finally get him back next Sunday. I think I may go crazy without my little crazy guy running around here but I know he'll have a good time. It will give me some time to get some serious house stuff done. Like painting. But the next July 4th, he is all mine!

Well, everyone have a safe and fun holiday weekend! Remember while you're at that cookout or drinking at the lake, that men and women have died for the freedom's that we enjoy so appreciate it!

Boys will be boys

I'm afraid people are going to start thinking I abuse my son. Last night he hit a concrete floor, face first and rather hard. He had a busted up lip and a bloody nose. He seems to fine this morning. The swelling in his lip has gone down quite a bit and he seems a little clingy still but not too bad. The clingyness could be because he has what I think is his final tooth coming in. He's only 18 months old. This can't possibly be it, but it appears so.

I have no idea why, but he plays HARD. He runs at full speed and is afraid of nothing. He's always falling and scraping knees or palms. He sprints up and down stairs like he's six-foot tall or something. It's ridiculous. Every time he goes somewhere I worry what people are going to think. I mean, anyone that knows him, knows that he plays really hard so I shouldn't worry about them. But the ones who don't know him are the ones I worry about.

Not a lot to report. Just hanging out. Shy turned 8 weeks old today. She's great! She didn't sleep too well last night and since The Hubster had to work at 4:50 this morning, I was up to bat all night long. Oh well. It's alright. Smash actually let me sleep until almost 9:00. I was astounded!

Well, time to play!

Hush-a-bye Mountain

Well, it's been a few days since I have posted. Not really a whole lot to report.

Smasher closed out the week wonderfully after a rough start. He and I were both sick with sore throats and headaches on Wednesday. But we're both awesome now!

Shy is doing great. She's been wanting to be held all day long so I strapped on my trusty Moby wrap and carried her around in that most of the time.

Our weekend was nice. Smash was at my grandparent's house again. I swear, we only get visitation, but he loves it so much down there that I don't have the heart to say no. The Hubby, Shy and I made a trip to the city to see his mom and my aunt. It was a good trip. Short, but good.

I don't know what has gotten into Smash this week but he has behaved beyond reproach (almost). He has listened when I said no or told him that something would hurt him and just walked away from things without throwing a fit. I'm more lenient with him lately though and I think that is helping both of us. He did kick Shy yesterday though and so he got in trouble for that, but all-in-all - I give his behavior this week a 10!

Shy is starting to hold up her head now! She's growing so fast!

We've been watching "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang" lately. And the lullaby that Dick Van Dyke sings to his kids has always been one of my favorites so I finally got all the words down. I sang it to Shy the other day and she conked out pretty fast. If you haven't heard it, go find it and listen to it.

A gentle breeze from Hushabye Mountain

Softly blows o'er Lullaby Bay

It fills the sails of boats that are waiting,

waiting to sail all your worries away.

It isn't far to Hushabye Mountain

And your boat wait down by the key.

The winds of night so softly are sighing

Soon they will fly your troubles to sea.

So close your eyes on Hushabye Mountain.

Wave goodbye to cares of the day.

And watch your boat from Hushabye Mountain

Sail far away from Lullaby Bay.

Well, a hungry kid calls so I must attend to them!

Recital anyone?

I NEED to do a recital. I miss singing so much. I never get a chance to do it anymore and while I love my life of midnight feedings, diaper changing and running after Splash, I need something else. If only for a little bit. I always think that when things slow down, I'll look into it. I've come to realize that things aren't going to slow down for about 20 years or so and by that time I won't want to give recitals. I'll want to watch my children's recitals or games or whatever else they're doing. So maybe I should just dive in and do it. I may not have finished my degree, but for four and a half years of my life I spent probably 75% of my time singing. I completed my performance requirements and feel that I'm wasting all that time I spent in practice rooms and going to lessons and coachings. Now I spend most of my time going to parks and story times.

I would like to do the recital for something. Maybe a benefit recital or something. If it was here in Enid I'm fairly confident I could get a decent audience. Hmmm...I need to get on this while I have the energy to actually complete it maybe.

Big thunderstorm going on right now, so our trip to story time at the library will probably be cancelled for this week. We'll try again later!

Silence is Golden...

Wow. It's Monday afternoon and my house is silent save for the air conditioner and the sound of Shy's swing. This is a momentous occasion. My house is never quite!!! I might even tempt fate and try to fit in a shower! If I could pull that off without one of the kids waking up, I should go buy a lottery ticket.

This morning was pretty eventful. I decided to let Splasher eat in the living room with me this morning since our kitchen needs a makeover. And by makeover I mean cleaned. Breakfast went fantastically. Except for the scrambled egg in the chair. I decided to let him try to feed himself while I tried to feed Shy. Eh. Oh well. I just let him go when he dumped most of it over his head. It seemed that he was having fun doing it, so why not? I'm kind of in a messy mood today so I decided I'd clean it when he took a nap, and I did. We watched Peter and the Wolf and Splasher really seemed to enjoy it. That makes me so happy since the entire point of the show is to teach children to appreciate music while watching something fun. Prokofiev really did a good job! We had some mac and cheese for lunch and the rest of the morning was filled by exploring the case of water that got left by the kitchen door last night. While I have 20 bottles of water floating around my living room now, it was fun to watch Splash look at things through the sides. We had a lesson in refraction.

But now, Spalsher is awake after a two and a half hour nap so I guess I should go. Glad I didn't attempt that shower.

Easy like Sunday morning...

Well, actually all day today was pretty easy. We just hung out all day. No agenda or anything. We did go to church which was all that we had planned to do. We went to lunch and then we came home. Shy and I feel asleep on the bed and we both took about a three hour nap. The Hubby and Splash played until they finally took about a two hour nap. All and all, a very good day! Splash and I went to get some free videos for him to watch over the next couple of days. Another Magic School Bus that I couldn't resist because it's the human body one and that one is my favorite. The other is actually Peter and the Wolf which serves two purposes as I am trying to teach Splasher to appriciate classical music!

Well, time for bed!

Our venture to the Splashpad...take 2!

So, Splasher and I ventured back to the Splashpad today with The Hubby and Shy in tow. They sat in the shade while I accompanied Splash to, well, the Splashpad. Today went even worse than the other day. He stuck to the edges and only ventured in to stick his hands in. As soon as the water hit him anywhere else, he ran away. Not only that, but there was another with the same name as my son and it caused confusion for both of the kiddos. Strangely enough, they were both about the same age and it's not an incredibly common name. Oh well. He didn't seem too upset about anything until I told him he couldn't play at the park part because we forgot shoes. Eh, not a big deal. I just wish he would explore a little more. But we're going to start Mommy and Me swim classes in July so maybe he'll be a little bit more comfortable with the water then. I also sat up his inflatable pool in the front yard since it's in the shade the entire day. He seems to be excited about that but we didn't spend any time in there today.

Splasher has not been the ideal kiddo since we got home but then again, I don't expect him to be. He does his best for the most part. The Hubby's sociology teacher told him the other day that it is our job, as parents, to set boundaries for them and it's their job, as children, to overstep those boundaries. Then we of course, teach them to get back in them. It's a vicious cycle for a few years. Splasher is comprehending more and more every day and is doing more and more. Today for instance, we learned three new words - "tree," "rock," and "grass." We also learned where our knees are and I got him to say "knee" once. We're working on "yes" and nodding our head "yes" but we're still working on that. He's also becoming more of a lovebug which is great. He'll bring me a book and sit in my lap while I read it and when we're sitting on the couch he'll actually give me kisses. I love my little boy so much. I can't wait until Shy is more interactive although I know I'll miss her newborn days.

However, she has been the fussiest that she's ever been today! I'm tired of it! She has hit a growth spurt though and so she wants to eat every hour or so and gets mad if we put her in her swing or if she gets put down in her bassinet. Oh well, I still love her!

Life is good. I complain too much and I think that's because I let too much get to me. I know I let the little things that Splasher does get to me and I get too upset when Shy cries a lot. So even though I will still get upset with Splasher sometimes and have to tell him "no," I will try to do so less severely and less often. Shy will cry. That's what babies do. I just have to remind myself that she will not always be that way. I feel like I don't take the time to actually enjoy my kids most days. So my new goal will be to just chill out and relax, let Splash get away with more especially if it's not harmful or destructive and just enjoy my kiddos while they're this young. I'm their world right now. It will never be that way again.

My kids are amazing me...

So I had the fortunate opportunity to blog about Splasher's accomplishment yesterday and now it's Shy's turn...

She slept for more than 3 hours at a time last night!!! I woke up at 4:00 this morning a little concerned at the lack of commotion coming from the other room during the night. I came and checked on her and she was fine. The Hubby's alarm went off and then she finally woke up at about 4:15. She went down at about 11:30 last night. That equals 4 hours and 45 minutes of uninterrupted sleep!!! I was so happy. I put her back down at 4:45 and she was back up at 8:30, so that was not a horrible stretch of time either.

I'm so proud of my kiddos!!!

Ready for the next step?

Splasher has been acting rather strange lately. Don't know what to make of it all.

We bought him a training potty a few months ago with the idea that if we put it in the bathroom, he would get used to it being there and knowing that that is where it belongs. It has worked so far. Sometimes he'll follow us in there and sit down on his "potty" even when he has no one to model after, like when I'm doing my makeup or hair. The other day he put both of his feet in the bowl part though and I thought "Wow. We're really getting nowhere." But, today we went into the bathroom and he pulled at the tabs of his diaper and patted the top of his toilet. I said, "Okay, [Splash.] Let's go." So he did. I am so excited. I think this is going to be a logn process and who even knows if he'll do it again for some time but I think it's a step in the right direction. I would be thrilled if he was potty trained by 20 months or so!!! But no pressure!

Summer Summer Summer Summertime

Well folks, it's Summer. Now, Summer doesn't mean as much to me as it used to due to me not being a student nor having kids that are old enough to experience Summer vacation yet. We've been having fun so far though. The Hubby has been working a lot the past week and a half because he's covering for someone. That has caused him to have to work every morning at 4:45 during the week. He usually only does that on Mondays and Fridays. And to add to the mix, he also started school this week. It's only one class but it's for two and a half hours every day and it seems as though he'll have paper due every day. In fact he had a test this morning on the third day of class. This is in addition to the rock wall schedule that he works as well. I miss my husband.

Smasher and I have been keeping semi-busy though. I think for the summer I shall change his name to Splasher! We went to the new splash pad that opened recently in our neighborhood. It was packed and I ran into several friends! We first sat next to our friend that was parked under a tree and finished our second snocone of the season. Splasher loved it! Then we bravely entered the fenced in area filled with "big kids". I didn't want to push Splasher since he seemed a little apprehensive about the whole thing. Eventually he ventured into the throng of children with me trailing close behind. I tried to stay back a ways, only intervening when he seemed confused that I was not right there. Once he saw me he was fine though and continued playing. He seemed to stick to the edges for the most part, only venturing to the middle of the pad when I held his hand. After about 20 minutes, he decided he was done. That was fine with me. He gets so hot playing outside. Hopefully we can start going a couple of days a week and he'll get more interested in it.

I'm also having the Hubby look into Mommy and Me swimming lessons. I want Splasher to feel comfortable around water and I would also feel more comfortable knowing that he knows the basics. Especially after an incident we had a friends pool last week. Splasher was fine. Just fell in the pool. The Hubby was in before I was even out of my seat and Splasher came up wide eyed and coughing a little but not crying or anything so I'm pretty sure he was fine. I had a mini-heart attack, but he was fine.

I don't let Splasher watch a lot of tv. In fact, we don't even have cable and typically just rent DVDs or watch things online. However, I have decided that a few minutes of a show here and there, really help me out a lot. Luckily, the local video rental store offers free DVDs of kids shows to rent. So the other day I sent the Hubby to find a couple of videos. He returned with The Magic School Bus and Schoolhouse Rock. Now, these are great shows! They're just a little over a 17 month-old's head. Good try anyway, Honey!

Shy is doing well. Growing like crazy although I didn't really notice it until other people were holding her. We took her to the doctor last week and she has gained two pounds in a four weeks. She's up to 9lbs. 10oz. She's starting to become more expressive and developing a personality. She makes the funniest faces and has started kind of grinning at us a little bit. She's still not sleeping too well, which is really hard considering I'm the one that has to take care of her since The Hubby has to be at work so early. I don't mind though. He takes her when he's home so I can get a nap sometimes. Splasher is an amazing big brother! He just watches her and actually whispers "shhhh" when she starts crying, which is not very often.

Well, I am going to find some more fun summer activities to keep my Splasher busy!

No catchy title this time folks...

I'm kind of beside myself right now. Certain members of my family have been less than thrilled about Shy's arrival. But I told myself that once she was here things would change. They've gotten worse.

Smasher went for a visit to my grandparent's on Thursday and the rest of us joined him on Saturday. Now, my grandparent's and Smash are extremely close. I understand that and don't want them to feel like they have to ignore Smash. I certainly don't. I feel like I divide my time pretty evenly. But since we arrived the other night my grandmother has spent a total of five minutes with Shy. My granddad has even held her longer than that and he's terrified of babies. He acknowledges she's there at least. My grandmother doesn't even do that. She just continues to play with Smash (which is great) and ignores the rest of us. I've tried to spend a lot of time with Smash while we're here but when you're trying to hang out with him and he's with someone who won't even talk to you, it's awkward, so I've retreated back to the back bedroom and decided to camp here until The Hubby and my granddad come back from the farm.

I'm just trying to figure out what happened. She didn't act this way when Smasher was a newborn. She won't say anything to me except to tell me what I should do with Smash and she's hardly said two words to The Hubby and won't even look at him. I guess it just really hurts because we used to be really close. I've been so close to tears this entire weekend because I know that one day I'm going to have to explain to one of my kids why the other one gets so much more attention from her than she does. I know Shy won't remember this weekend but I will. Shy didn't do anything wrong. She was just born. If my grandmother is so disappointed in me or ashamed of Shy, I wish she would have just told me or at the very least say they were busy this weekend. Then I wouldn't have wasted the gas money to get down here. Silly me, I thought she'd want to meet her great-granddaughter. I guess I was wrong. I won't make that mistake again. And honestly, if this is the way things are going to be, then maybe Smash doesn't need to come visit anymore either. I hate to say that because he loves it down here and he is really close to my grandmother and I know my granddad would miss him and he hasn't done anything wrong but I'm not going to let any of my family play favorites with my kids. You either love them both or neither of them.

Mother/Daughter Tea

Today Shy and I are spending our afternoon together at the local coffee shop/bookstore. To my surprise, I just looked at the clock to discover we've been here for over 4 hours. The Hubby is at work and Smasher is at my grandparents, so I've really been enjoying my day out with my little girl. I know I'll have to return home soon to start laundry so I can pack for our trip to my grandparent's to join Smash, but for now I'll enjoy the peacefulness that comes with being surrounded by people but to just hang out with the girly. She got tired of sleeping in her car seat so I took her out and laid her on the couch beside me. She looks content to just be lounging around while I get some much needed "out of the house" time.

I love days like today. I know this weekend will be a little stressful as we go to my grandparent's, because A - it's a three hour drive and B - I've not sure how they'll respond to her. They are so close to Smasher and I'm just worried that they'll have a hard time treating her the same. Considering my mom was an only child and I was an only child, they were pretty excited about a boy. But anyway, I'm sure it will be fine. I'm sure my grandmother will take her shopping as she gets older. That was our way of bonding so maybe it will be their's as well. Only time will tell.

Have a wonderful and safe weekend!!!

Seriously!?!

Some people have got A LOT of nerve!!! I'm pissed to say the very least.

So, The Hubby works at the rock wall of a certain physical fitness mecca. He loves his job. He works most of the shifts. Today he was working at the front desk of same fitness mecca. When he was done he went to the wall to climb just a couple of routes. A guy who USED to be a mutual friend of both of us was working. This guy is the "supervisor" at the rock wall even though he only works down there a few hours a week. So, The Hubby goes to climb after he gets off and the Idiot (as he shall now be known) ignores him completely. Even the other climbers are pointing out that he wants to climb but The Idiot won't pay him any attention! Finally The Hubby says that another guy can belay him instead. The Idiot then gets upset and says, "How would like it if I just made it to where you don't work at the wall anymore?" I mean, REALLY!?! This is a guy who sent me a text on Mother's Day wishing me a Happy Mother's Day. This is a guy who has been a complete jerk to both my husband and I since he found out we were dating. Well he and The Hubby have some apparent beef but his issue with me began with when we started dating. We were great friends before that. He was also the guy who decided that he could no longer talk to me pretty much when I got pregnant with Smasher. I could deal with all of that crap, but threatening to do something that could mess with our finances...well, that PISSES ME OFF!!!! I mean, we just had another child. I'm not working and we're both planning on going back to school. I mean, what the crap!?! I know that I should let it go. I know that I should turn the other cheek. But I just don't know how I can actually do that! I'm more mad than I have been in a long time. Who does he think he is? I understand that he is in a supervisory position over The Hubby but I honestly have no idea why he thinks that going on a power trip is necessary.

Okay, Rant over.

In other news...my family is perfect and that makes me smile!

Unexpected but beautiful.

Both of my child have been what some people call "accidents." I call them "unexpected". They are the light of my life but they were, in every sense of the word, unexpected. I never knew I could love anything so much (except my husband) as I do my children. They are the best things that God has blessed me with thus far. It sounds weird to say the plural now, but I'm getting used to it.

Shy is wonderful. She doesn't cry. I actually have to wake her up at night to feed her. And she is so content to just lay in our arms and watch the world go by. She's also absolutely beautiful!

We've had some issues with her weight but after her doctor's appointment today, things look great. No more supplementing. She's eating like a champ. She's only gained 2oz. since Tuesday night which kind of worries me but her doctor seems alright with it. She's a tad jaundiced but that can be remedied with a quick trip to the Farmer's Market tomorrow morning followed with some walks outside a few times this weekend. Thank goodness for Moby wraps. I just need to practice putting it on.

Smasher will be back Monday and I cannot wait! I miss him so much. He is having a blast at the farm though so I'll try not to interrupt buy calling too often. He's too busy to talk to me anyway.

My little girl needs me so off I go! Have a good weekend!

She's here...

Shilo Alivia was born this morning at 7:26am. She weighs 8lbs. 1.6oz. and is 20in. long. She has not as much hair as Smasher did, but still quite a lot and her eyes (if she opens them) are a very dark blue. She is beautiful! And really a pretty good baby. Apparently that was not the case in the nursery this morning though. She was not a happy camper I hear.

So far this has been a much easier experience than my delivery and recovery with Smasher. I think it's because I kind of knew what to expect this time. The Hubby and I got to the hospital at 5am and they started my IV and drew my blood. They then came in and explained the process to us. I was told that The Hubby was not going to be with me during the spinal block and I started freaking out a bit but in the end, I did alright but myself. They started about 7:15 or so and she was born by 7:26. She had an 8 and 9 on her APGARs and The Hubby took her off to the nursery. After being in recovery for about 15 minutes, they let her come to me so she could eat. She was awesome! I've never breastfed and she hadn't either, but we both did amazing apparently! She slept most of the afternoon. She is beautiful and I am so in love.

The last couple of weeks I've been a little concerned that I couldn't love her as much as I do Smasher. It just wasn't possible in my mind. I was wrong. It's insane how I can love both of them SO much. You don't split your love when you have another kid. It just multiplies for not only the new addition but for the child you already have. I love both of my children more than I ever thought possible. The Hubby is absolutely enamored with her and to see the way he looks at her makes me fall in love with him all over again. My family is amazing!!!

Well, my little girl is crying so I gotta go!

Not a whole lot got done...

:/

So my plan today was to get the house cleaned and ready to go for when she got here. However, the only thing I've managed to do is get some laundry done and prep some of her diapers. I hate to say this, but The Hubby is probably going to be doing a lot of work on the house before we get home Wednesday but I'm one of those people who can't have people in her house until it is CLEAN! But regardless of what got done today, it's the best possible way I could think of spending the day before having my Little Girl.

Here's why: The Hubby and I spent all day together today except for a few minutes while he's mowing. We spent all morning just laying around and talking about expectations and how excited we are about tomorrow. We then had to go get something and when we pulled into the driveway I looked at him and said, "I really don't want to go in." So we didn't. We just went on a drive for a couple of hours then went to my aunt's house for fried catfish and potatoes. When we got home, I knew we needed to work so I got kinda busy. But we both agree that although it was an uneventful day, it was the best way we could've spent it. Nothing stressing us out really. Just having fun being married and in love. He's out mowing right now since the yard was looking like a jungle and I'm kind of scared to even think about what it would have looked when we got home. We still have to pack the hospital bag and my goal is to be in bed by 10pm since we have to be at the hospital at 5am. and if I'm up later than midnight, I'll probably eat or drink something and I can't.

Guess I need to get going. Lots to do!

21 Hours, 44 Mins

That's all people. I looked at my countdown clock on my desktop and automatically looked at the days first only to realize that it had a big goose egg. That makes me happy but very worried because we have A LOT to do today.

Yesterday was great and I needed it. We went to the city for The Hubby's mom's birthday party which was nice because I finally got to meet one out of his two brothers (I had met the other one already) and his bio mom, who seems pretty excited about being a Grammie. I really like his family. They're just very laid back and genuine people. We also went to the Green Bambino! FINALLY!!! It's a cloth diapering store that just opened about a month ago in OKC. Of course I walked in and wanted everything in the store but contained myself pretty well. I needed a couple of shells for Little Girl still as all of the ones I have are plain old white and I felt she needed a little bit more variety. I also got Smasher a cover for the night because he tends to leak really badly at night. And a new pail liner and some snappis. I found a beautiful diaper bag and think I will return in the near future to get it plus some swim diapers for the kiddos. On our way out of town we made a stop and I got to see Smasher again for a few minutes. He was running around being a pretty happy kid. I miss him already. His Apple took him to ChuckECheese yesterday and from the looks of it he had a lot of fun.

Well, folks, I'm off to the ra..errr...house cleaning! Since we didn't get much done in the way of cleaning yesterday, today is going to be insane cleaning time! Wish us luck!

Now if I could only wake up The Hubby!

High expectations often get dashed...

Well, today Smasher's last day as an only child that he will spend with me. When he comes back next Wednesday, life will be different. He'll be a big brother.

I'm worried for my little guy as he is used to being the center of attention. He's okay playing by himself but when he wants attention, you better give it to him NOW unless you like screetching. It's far and few between for those moments, but they're still there. I've heard of kids taking out their anger on their younger siblings when they're too young to understand. I certainly hope this isn't the case with Smasher.

The goal for today was to go hang out at the park and generally have an awesome day with Smasher since he'll be going to his dad's tonight until next Wednesday. Has any of that happened yet? Of course not. He is so cranky and has horrible allergy issues. He also has a HORRIBLE diaper rash which is making him so irritable. It seems to be getting better but still, he's in a mood today. I'm going to miss him so much. I just wish we could have had an awesome day, just the two of us, before he had to leave. I'm sure we'll have Mom/Smasher days in the future, but it's going to be a while. The Hubby has to work all day today so it truely was going to be just the two of us. Oh well. I'm just letting him play in the house all day since the wind is terrible and I'm getting some cleaning done.

It's also going to be a really busy weekend. We're hoping to make it to the first farmer's market of the year tomorrow morning and of course the Tri-State Parade. Then we have some major cleaning to do this weekend. I think the reality of her being here on Monday is finally hitting...hard. Oh, and to make matters so much better, I turned on the bath water for Smasher this morning and after filling the tub about halfway, I realize that our water is a beautiful rust color! Only the cold water is that way though. The hot water is fine. I have a lot of clothes to wash this weekend though so hopefully we can get our landlord over to check it out soon.

Anyway, I'm off.

6 Days...

There have been times in my life where six days have seemed like a minute. There have been times in my life where six days seemed like six months. I have a feeling that the next six days of my life are going to feel like six years. I'm due at the hospital next Monday at 5:00am to get ready for a 7:00am c-section. I'm not a fan of medical needles (tattoo and piercing needles are fine.) I don't like the fact that I can't eat or drink anything for about 8 hours starting at midnight that night. I hate the fact that I won't get to see Smasher for a few days. But, I am so ready for this to be over. I am not a gracious pregnant woman by any means. I am mean, cranky and just unpleasent to be around in general. I hate what it does to the body that I'm normally pretty proud of. I resent the fact that I can't go out and do simple chores such as mow the lawn (which is something I LOVE to do) without wanting to collapse from exhaustion. I hate the fact that when I tried to slide into the booth at Chili's the other day, I had to trade sides with The Hubby because I could not fit in because of the size of my stomach. There are so many things I LOATH about being pregnant. I love being a mom, just hate the process of getting there. Oh well, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel now and according to my countdown clock, it is 6 days, 13 hours and 45 mins away.

This weekend was great! Didn't get as much done as we had hoped for and both Smasher and I are suffering from allergies, but it was great. More later. The kid has awoken...scary.

My Grandma

I can't sleep. Too many things running through my mind. Things to do before Little Girl gets here and things that I need to do for Smasher and The Hubby's birthday is today. But it's times like these when I think about my grandma the most.

Evelyn Walker is probably one of the most influential people in my life. She was, without a doubt, the most kind-hearted, loving individual that I have ever had the privilege of knowing and I was lucky enough to get to call her "Grandma." She always had a way of calming my fears and letting me know that things were going to be okay. I remember telling her when I found out that I was pregnant with Smasher. She was worried for me, of course. I mean, I was a single 23 year-old, but instead of judging me as much of my other family members had, she was happy. Her children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren were her joy. Well, and her husband. In fact the last picture I have of her is one in which Smasher is sitting in the hospital bed with her and you can just tell that she is so proud of him. I guess what really got me thinking about her is a conversation I had with her when I was about 37 weeks pregnant with Smash. I was freaking out. I wasn't sure what to do. I was pretty positive that I'd be a horrible mother. I had absolutely no clue what to do with a newborn. I called her one afternoon and she could automatically sense something was wrong - she always could. So, I told her what all was bugging me. She then calmly, because she was almost always calm, told me that I would know what to do. That I would be a great mother and that God would see that Smasher and I were alright. Well, here I am again, a little over a year later. 37 weeks pregnant with this Little Girl and I can't call her. I can't have her tell me that everything is going to be fine, so I just have to remember what she told me then.

I now feel like I took my conversations with her for granted. I mean, I think most people do after the loss of someone, but had I'd known that I wouldn't be able to have many more of them with her, I would have called more. I would have gone to see her more. But, the truth is, she lived her life as such an example of how to be a kind, wonderful, generous mother, friend, wife, grandma, etc. that I don't need to have conversations with her anymore. I know what she would tell me and I know the advice that she would give me. She made sure to leave that to us. I still miss my talks with her though.

The months since August have had both good times and bad and there really hasn't been any event in my life happen that I haven't wanted to pick up the phone and call her. When Cody and I got married, she was the first person I wanted to call, mainly because I knew she'd love him. When I found out about Little Girl, I wanted her to know because I knew she'd be so happy about another great-grandchild. When Smasher is going absolutely crazy and I don't know what to do, I want to call her to see what advice she would give. Or when he started to walk or anything like that. But I have to stop myself and remember that she knows these things already. She is watching them as they are happening.

I miss my grandma. I miss making cakes with her. Looking through photo albums. Eating the AMAZING dinners she used to make. Joking around with her. Grandpa and I calling her a "crazy old women" (lovingly, of course) and her just laughing it off. Planting flowers with her. Just sitting on the porch in the evenings and listening to her stories. I could go on forever. But I won't. Those memories stay close to my heart and nothing can replace them.

I love you, Grandma. Thank you for teaching me how to be a good mother, wife, friend, etc. Thank you for always being there when I needed somewhere to turn. I miss you, but I know you're still looking out for me.

Lions and Tigers and...Smashers!

Oh my!

Today is going to be a good day! I woke up this morning to, not a screaming kid, but a child that was happily giggling in his crib. Not only that, I just feel that no matter what, today is going to be a good day! It's raining! My favorite kind of day. It relaxes me. Friday is always kind of a hit or miss day. Some days it's crazy because The Hubby works 4:45am - 8:00pm with a couple hours of a break inbetween. Sometimes it's not bad at all. Today will be a busy but good day. I have a lesson to teach this morning. And another one this afternoon. It is almost Tri-State time ladies and gents. And hopefully this baby will be here before then so I've got to get some work in with my students. They're both wonderful though so I'm not worried about it at all!

Oh, by the way, she dropped! Like I mean really, really dropped. So, hopefully that means she'll be soon since usually that's a sure sign labor will start soon with second kids. So, yay! I'm so over being pregnant. I will NEVER be one of those women who enjoy it.

Anyway, lots of cleaning and teaching to do today and then hopefully we'll be able to make it downtown to Enid's Jazz Stroll and BBQ festival thingy. Lots of good music and good food! It will be a good family outing.

Everyone have a great weekend!

Ho Hum...

It's just one of those days. We woke up, ate, went to the park and came home. By the time we got home, I was so exhausted that I passed out in the recliner. The Hubby fed Smash lunch and by 12:30, the kid was down for a nap. He's stirring around in there right now, but I think I'll let him do that for a little bit. The Hubby went to work and so Smasher and I will probably spend the afternoon doing laundry and getting things ready for Little Girl, yet again. Smasher has opened all the drawers her clothes were in and pulled them out so I think one more wash won't hurt them at all. So, all in all a very ho hum day, but I did get a nap, so "Go Mama!!"

20 Days, 22 Hours, 38 Mins.

I could break it down into seconds as well. But I won't. Anyway, I added a timer to my desktop to mark the occasion of Little Girl's birth. I am thinking that was a bad idea. I now look at it quite a lot, willing it to go faster. It never does. I did have some really hard and pretty regular contractions yesterday afternoon so we went in, they pretty much went away and they were pretty much all for nothing. It turns out that these contractions I've been having are actually doing nothing. It's not fair. I really kind of felt like crying. Oh well, just three more weeks until she's here for sure. Lots to do. The Hubby admitted to me yesterday that most of the stuff he's promised to do probably won't get done until she's in the hospital and we're getting ready to come home because right now, he lacks the motivation. You know, that probably should have upset me a little bit, but I actually understood where he was coming from so I'll just go with it.

It was kind of a lazy weekend around here. Went to the park with Smasher Saturday to feed the ducks. We tried to get him to throw the bread out for them, but he must have been hungry. What else is new? He went down the big boy slide by himself and got a little scared before he realized that I was going to catch him. Then he handled it like a champ. The flowerbeds at our house need a sprucing up so we started working on that Saturday evening, but still have a ways to go. The Hubby and I watched Queen of the Damned and Interview With a Vampire after the kid went to bed. The Hubby had to work an after prom party at the rock wall from 12:30-2:30. Everytime I watch Interview With A Vampire, I always have this weird dream where I would be the Christian Slater character and Lestat (Tom Cruise, not Stuart Townsend, unfortunately) would jump out of the backseat of a red convertable and attack me. The vampire part doesn't worry me, getting bit by a Scientologist, however, scares the crap out of me. Anyway, so I had my weird dream and then we got up and got ready to go to church. About 20 minutes before we leave, contractions start really strong, but I say lets go anyway. We at least made it through Sunday School. We had to leave after that though. Smasher spent some time with my aunt, we went to the hospital, we went and got Smash and went home. I feel asleep around 6 and Smasher, who had not had a real nap all day, followed me at about 6:30. He just woke up. He's babbling in his crib softly so I'll take a few minutes to get some cinnamon rolls in the oven.

Have a great Monday folks! I've started to look forward to Monday, at least the next few of them anyway!

Garage Sales!!!!

That's right folks. It's garage sale time here in beautiful Enid, America! I want a sewing machine. Really really badly. I don't know how to use one but by God, I will learn. And then I will make the CUTEST things known to man. Or at least things my kids can play with or wear when I'm not too embarrassed to take them out in something I made. I'm not usually a crafty one so who knows if anything good would come out of this venture. There's also a garage sale that has a race car bed! I want one for Smash even though he's probably still about 6 months from needing it. There's lots of them with baby clothes although The Hubby says we don't need anymore for a while. Yeah right! We always need baby clothes. Okay, so maybe not NB or 0-3 months but Smasher needs some 24m - 2T and we don't have any clothes for her that go beyond 0-3m.

Chai, the kitty, needs to get his act together. He's has a few weeks to get the point that he does not go in the bassinet. If he can't figure it out, he's gone. I hate to say that. But seriously, the first time I see him in the bassinet with her, I will throw him out. It scares me. A spray bottle will be bought today.

Smash slept for a grand total of 7 hours yesterday. Not including when he went to bed at 11:00. I don't know if he's hitting a growth spurt or what but he was seriously conked out yesterday. He seems very well-rested and ready to play today though so I can deal.

Well, hope you have a very productive Saturday or if your goal is to just chill out, a very non-productive one!

brugh...

I like making up words. My son looked at me this morning after I said "brugh" and said "wha dat?" which I think means "What's that?" but probably means "You're weird, Mom." Who knows? He's a weird one. He also told the radio "hi" this morning.

Little Girl is still cooking. The Hubby and I are still debating the name even though I thought we'd agreed. We probably won't even know what her name is until she gets here. Oh well. I'm beginning to come out of my funk about her not being here yet or at least I think I am. I just need to realize that God has made pregnancy last around 40 weeks usually to ensure healthy babies. I just want her to be healthy and if that means I was pregnant for the rest of my life, I'd do it. I hope she doesn't see that as an invitation though. She'll be 37 weeks (term) in 10 days, on her daddy's birthday. And I only have 24 days until my c-section. I can do this...I think. I just wish we'd stop playing games with the contractions though.

Life is good. I love my family and my friends. They are all amazing. The Hubby and I are doing great and had a great night last night just talking about things and walking around. Smasher is an absolute joy even if he is a mess at times. I love that little guy so much. He's soooo smart! And Little Girl is - well, she hasn't done anything to make me upset at her yet. Not that I'd love her any less if she did, just sayin'. The big plan for this weekend is work on the house considering that there might actually be people in it when she gets here and I'm kind of a freak about my house being spotless if people are coming over. So, note this: if you ever want to visit, please give me at least an hour's heads up. I know I shouldn't care but I do so oh well.

Well, my friends. A certain little boy is running around smelling very suspicious so I must attend to that.


Have a wonderful day!

A New Name...

We've decided to change 8's name. I've been pretty open about my mom hating her name but after sitting down and actually talking to her about why she dislikes it kind of helped me see some issues with it. 1.) Smasher won't be able to pronounce it for a long time. 2.) When she's school age, she'll have to write out her entire name and believe me, it's long. 3.) She be called Gus or Auggie - both of which I hate. 4.) Sometimes, I find that instead of letting my mom bother me so much with what she thinks, I have to make some concessions. I agree that this is one that I probably shouldn't have made but she's already so against this child that anything that we alienate her from her anymore is just not worth it to me. I know she'll change once she's here, but it's just easier.

The Hubby and I picked out what we think to be a very beautiful name. It's still not necessarily common but a little bit more so. My mom is still not thrilled with the name, but I feel as though we've made enough of a compromise so she can deal.

So, now that that is all behind me, I'm feeling pretty good about it. Other than that...blah...

Porch Dates

Smasher went to my grandparent's house this weekend for Easter. I really am not in the mood to ride in a car for three hours so The Hubby and I stayed in home this weekend. It was a much needed break. I love my darling little boy but it's getting harder to wrangle him now. He's pretty good about entertaining himself and also realizing that I can't pick him up very easily anymore. He's such a good kid.

But while he was gone this weekend, The Hubby and I enjoyed what will be our last weekend alone before she's here. We took a walk late Friday night which led to some pretty strong contractions but they went away when I got home. Saturday we went to watch Alice and Wonderland...FINALLY!!! It was good, but I was a little disappointed but can't figure out why yet. I was having some contractions before we got there and while we were at the movie they got to be pretty regular, around 5 mins. So, we went to the hospital. Of course they stopped for the most part once we got there. I had a few kind of strong ones, but nothing to write home about, which is good because I'm only 35 weeks today so I still have a few weeks before she's ready. At least idealistically anyway. After getting home at 2am, The Hubby and I decided that we wouldn't try to go to church because I was absolutely exhausted and we were going to his sister's house about an hour away for lunch. Easter lunch was wonderful and watching the kids hunt Easter eggs was a lot of fun. We came home fairly early to try to get some stuff done but we ended up just hanging out. I know. We're lazy. I all of a sudden had a craving for lil smokies so we went and got the smokies and then I had mac and cheese and The Hubby had leftovers. There was a really pretty lightening storm happening last night so we decided to have a "porch date" which was more like a "stoop date" because I have a stoop and not a porch, but nonetheless, it was agreed that it was probably one of our best recent dates. It was simple, quite and beautiful. We then came in and watched Law Abiding Citizen. It was horrible. I mean, a decent story, but we came away from the movie feeling very depressed and down. We also rented Amelie (one of my favs) but will watch it today.

Well, I picked up the kid from my mom a couple of hours ago so we're going to go play now.

So, for now, auf wiedersehen...

Oh and painful contractions suck!!! Especially when they are like 7 mins apart.

The Waiting Game

Tick-tock. tick-tock. I feel is if the seconds get longer and longer as I wait, not so patiently, for this little girl to be here. I want my body back dang it! I've never been particularly prideful about my body, but I take fairly good care of it and it usually shows. I used to work out quite a bit but I haven't been able to at all with this pregnancy because it seems every time my heart rate goes up, I go down - to the floor. But I do want a healthy baby and so if that means waiting another month for her to be here, so be it. I will do it and try to complain a little less.

This is Holy Week. Due to contractions all night last Saturday and Sunday morning, we were unable to make it to Palm Sunday. I think that's the first Palm Sunday I've missed except for when I got my tonsils out when I was six. I was pretty saddened about it. Yesterday was Maundy Thursday and yet again, I missed the service. I'm really upset by that because it's when First United Methodist does their cantata and I have some students in the choir. But what happened? I feel asleep. I mean, I needed it, but it didn't make me feel any better. So today is Good Friday. I'm really going to try to make it to a service. Really at this point I don't care where at. We will be at church Sunday morning contractions or no. The only thing that would stop us is a trip to the hospital or something in which case I think I can make an exception. I am so disappointed in myself over this because Easter has always been the one time of year that I really focus on what Jesus dying for me actually means. I should all of the time and I know that but regardless of how well I do think about it during the rest of the year, I've always used Holy Week to really think about all that God has done for me by sending His son to die for my sins. Being a mother now, I don't know that I could sacrifice my son for the sins of the entire world. I know, I sound selfish but it's true. Another thing I've always done is on Palm Sunday I read all the accounts of Jesus entering the town and the stuff that happened that week until the Last Supper. On Maundy Thursday, I read all the accounts of the Last Supper and Jesus' arrest. Good Friday, the Crucifixion. And of course, on Easter Sunday, the Resurrection. I then usually follow it by reading Acts to remind myself of how I, as a follower of Christ, should be acting and what He wants from me. I also am not going to my grandparent's this weekend which is an almost first for me. Smasher is going which I'm not too thrilled about, but I can't ride in the car for three and half hours with contractions. And I really don't trust the hospital there to even know how to deliver a baby especially by c-section. I believe that he should be with me for Easter. That we should be together as a family for Easter, but my grandparent's haven't seen him for a while and I really do need a little break. So, regardless of where he is, he's still my little boy.

Anyway, that was long. If you really know me, I make no attempt to hide the fact that I am a Christian. At one point in my life, I did. I don't want to be that person ever again. I also make no attempt to hide that I'm not perfect and that I have serious questions about religion a lot of the time, but I refuse to see that as a bad thing. I think as humans God made us to question things. And the things I question aren't necessarily the things that God has done. They are the things man have done to take away from God.

Well, Smasher is up and I don't think he's going to go back to sleep at any point so I might as well get him out of bed and fed.

So, for now...Happy Good Friday and may the love of God and the sacrifice He made go with you today.

You say you want a Revolution...

I've spent the last couple of hours catching up on Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution. I've been hearing so many incredible and positive things about the show. I admit I was skeptical since it is a Ryan Seacrest production and I'm not his biggest fan, but he hasn't made an appearance yet, so I'm cool with it.

I don't even know how to put into words what I feel about this show. I think that it's incredible and something that should have been done before there was a problem of obesity and heart disease in America. Jamie, a celebrity chef from England, has left his family for months at a time to try to revolutionize the way Americans eat. He started in Huntington Beach, West Virginia, aka, the most unhealthy town in America. Which when you think about it, means the most unhealthy in the world! His main focus is the school system first. These kids walked in to school one morning to be fed pizza. It was breakfast pizza but all that means is throwing some scrambled eggs made from a powder on it. For lunch, they had chicken nuggets. When Jamie asked the cooks to read what the ingredients said, they couldn't pronounce the words, but one lady said, "Chicken breast, see it's fine." They used "potato pearls" in place of actual mashed potatoes for the kids. And get this, even though a potato is mainly considered a starch in most places, here in America we consider french fries to be a vegetable. Really? Greasy, salty, over-processed french fries are veggies? Not for my kids.

Another thing Jamie is trying to do is transform the lives of a family who all seem to be overweight. He and the mom dumped all of the food that this family eats in a week on the table and even though the mom said she knew it was bad for her family, the deep fat fryer was the most used appliance in their kitchen. Oh, except for the freezer FULL of Totino's pizzas. She then looked at the table and starting crying when she was told that this was shorting her kids lifespans by 10-15 years. Jamie made them a beautiful, healthy and what seemed incredibly appetizing meal and then gave her the recipes and the ingredients for a week's worth of food. He then left. He came back a week later to find that most of the grocery items were unused even though she said that she'd made the meals. The next day, Jamie took the family to the hospital. The mother and father are overweight. They have a 4 year-old little girl who is the biggest 4 year-old I've ever seen. The 12 year-old is also obese. The doctor tested the 12 year old for diabetes due to some warning signs he saw. He isn't diabetic but I really hope that they fact that they are leading their son down that path makes those parents change their habits.

I think that the most incredible thing is the chicken nugget demonstration...it was so gross. He brought a group of kids into a kitchen he set up in this town to do a demo for them. He cut up a chicken and pointed out all the good cuts. He then cut up the rest of the chicken (bones, sinew, skin) and put it in a processor. He added some flour and cornmeal and voila! he had himself a chicken nugget patty. He fried them up and then asked the kids if they would still eat it. Every single one of them raised their hands. I was disgusted and appalled. When asked if it was healthy they said no. When asked why they would eat it then they said, 'because I'm hungry." Are we really teaching our kids it's okay to east crap because it's convenient over eating healthy foods? If we are, we're really telling them that it's okay to choose conveinance over life.

There are other things in the show that just set me off. Such as children from about age 4-10 never eating with forks and knives because they are constantly fed finger foods. What in the world?!? Also, a group of first graders didn't know what a potato was! What are we teaching these kids? The people of Huntington Beach need a wake up call as well. Some of the people are just plain hateful to Jamie. This is a man who left his own family to help your family because he cares about this issue so much. Half the people in this town hate him for it. I guess no one really wants their flaws pointed out, but maybe Americans have to have this pointed out to them. Jamie had to point it out to England and guess what...they have dramatically changed the way they feed their children at school and at home.

I know this was kind of a long rant based on a TV show, sorry. People question my desire to home school my kids until right before middle school. Now, maybe this sheds some light on one of the many reasons.

Please, go watch the show. Even if you don't agree with me or with Jamie Oliver, just watch one episode and give it a chance. It's produced by ABC and is on Friday at 9:00 I think. But it's also online at abc.com or hulu.com.

Dear Contractions:

Around 4:00pm, Wednesday, March 24, 2010, it became apparent to me that you were making yourself known. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that I am not due for another six and a half weeks and am scheduled for a c-section in 5 and a half weeks. If you see it necessary to occur frequently enough to produce a child, I would appriciate it if you could please wait another 3 and a half weeks as that would put my child at term.

I would like to add that I understand your need to prepare my body for a natural birth. However, it has been determined that my body, for reasons out of my control, cannot withstand a natural delivery. Therefore, my doctor has advised me that a scheduled c-section is imminent and has scheduled it already so really your need to prep (rather painfully I might add) my body is useless and unwanted.

If you insist on remaining, please revert back to Braxton Hicks contractions. That way I would not be so freaked out when you are 8 minutes apart for two hours and then continue to increase in frequency. I appriciate the fact that you have decided to chill out a little on the pain factor, or maybe that's just me dealing with you better.

I am not ready to have this baby, nor is she ready to make her debut, so please, stop for a few weeks. If you could allow me to get some sleep tonight, I'd be grateful. I am sure my husband would be too as he has to be at work 4:45am.

Sincerely,
Kyla Willingham

I love my mornings...

well, most of the time. The Hubby doesn't have to go to work until 2:30 on Tuesdays or Thursdays. He usually has a four and a half hour break on Mondays and Fridays so by the time Smash and I get up he's home for his break. I like him having mornings off because it's probably our best family bonding time. Wednesdays are awesome too, as he doesn't work at all. He works so much though that's it nice to see him relax on his mornings off. Usually he'll even get up with Smasher to let me sleep for a few extra minutes. So they even get their own time together.

That being said, we have a lot to do this week.

Today: We've got to get the kitchen clean and I mean spotless. I want every single dish clean. Every single tile on that floor sparkling. All the baseboards shining. The fridge needs to be emptied and completely washed out. We have some work to do.

Wednesday: Cody's got to finish painting the ceiling in the living room and priming the kids room before we paint it yellow. I'll work on our bedroom. Since The Hubby and I have been sleeping in the living room due to me having to sleep in the recliner and him not wanting to be in our room alone (no, he's not afraid of the dark, he just misses me) our bedroom has come to resemble more of a storage unit. I have to get this fixed. So I will be working on that while he is painting. Hopefully.

Thursday: We have to get the garage organized. Seriously. Since The Hubby moved in, it has been a disaster so that must be done.

That right folks...it's a nestin' time. Well, that and spring cleaning time. YAY!!!

Conflicted...

I'm getting a lot of flack lately...yet again. This time it has nothing to do with my parenting skills. This time it's my political beliefs. Surprise, surprise...

So a huge decision was made by the House of Representatives today. A decision that leaves me torn. I'm a democrat. I have been since I was old enough to be registered as one and probably even long before that. But lately, I've been looking at my political beliefs and while you'd be very hard-pressed to find anyone as socially liberal as me, I'm actually pretty moderate when it comes to fiscal matters. Which is why I am so torn right now. As a liberal, I believe in gay rights, and equal pay. I'm pro-choice although it has never been an option for me. I am for animal rights, women's rights, child's rights...just civil liberties in general and I don't believe that anyone should be denied health care for any reason. But at what cost to the American tax payer?

I believe that some people cannot work, but I also believe that some people choose not to work for no good reason. I am choosing not to right now for medical reasons and I chose to maybe not go back to work so I can care for my children. But some people, well, they have no excuse. I'm a liberal, but I'm also live in a low-income home and am currently on medicaid for my pregnancy and Smasher is also on medicaid. We couldn't afford not to be on medicaid regardless of whether both The Hubby and I were working or not. The difference is, we don't go out very much, if at all. We try to watch our money and spending very carefully. We don't spend our money on frivolous things and we make sure we have what we need. We get by. I get angry when I see people on government assistance going out to bars or spending their money on fast food and restaurants all the time. It really just ticks me off. Why should people who do work hard to provide just the basics for their families or just work in general have to pay for those who REFUSE to work? It's not fair.

Now, I can see where it will help a lot of people. For instance, children, who are completely innocent in all this, will receive the care they need. I know of a lot of instances where I couldn't have afforded to take Smasher to the doctor without medicaid. But I also know that this bill passing means that a lot less doctors will probably taking on medicaid/medicare recipients, which would mean my children. We can't afford to pay the fines that are going to be placed on us for not having insurance, but we can't afford the insurance either. What does that mean? I agree that something needed to be done to combat the raising medical cost and somebody needs to keep the insurance companies in check, but I don't necessarily think that the bill that passed tonight was the best option. I don't know what is, but I'm not sure this was it. I guess only time will tell.

Snow!?! Really!?!

On the first day of spring, no less. I am really tired of all the snow. It was 70 degrees yesterday! What happened to that!?! I live in Oklahoma, not some frozen wasteland. We have gotten our fair share of snow this year. It's time to lay off, Mother Nature. I've been having some horrible contractions, some which some regularity, so watch, she's going to decide to come during this blizzard thing outside and it's going to suck having to get to the hospital. I hope not, but I'm just sayin'.

You know, the snow wouldn't be so bad if there were fun things to do in it but seeing as I live in a dry wasteland (at least most of the time) there are no fun mountains to ski down or ponds that get frozen enough to ice skate on. No, we here in these parts just have the option of going to the local overpass to sled. And I can't even do that right now. Nor can I do the skiing or skating but at least I'd have pretty mountains to look at instead of the snow-covered empty school parking lot across the street from me. Chai has a good idea. Curl up into a itty-bitty tiny ball and sleep. Don't even let the kid pulling your hair wake you up. Smart move kitty.

Well, Smash is awake and gibbering in his crib so I think I'll take him to the window and let him see the snow. The kid loves the snow! I don't get it. We won't be going out in it. The last time it was like this and I went outside, I feel down the steps. Maybe when The Hubby gets home they can go out for a few minutes. We'll see. But seeing Smasher's face light up at the snow actually makes up for it and I can't help but smile as he serenely watches it float by.

So, for now, auf wiedersehen...and stay warm!

I'm sorry...

for yesterdays rant. I know my mom means well and I love her. I need to just learn to let it roll off and take all advice given to me with a grain of salt.

Anyways...I wrote this blog and then blogger deleted it, so here's the jest...

Some contractions. Painful but nothing really happening. Not regular anyway. Just painful. They keep me up all night, but I'm surprisingly awake this morning.

Smasher just woke up. I took cinnamon rolls out of the oven and I've already showered and dressed today. Banner day for me!

It's going to be a great day! So, you have one too!

So, for now, auf wiedersehen...

Sleep evades me again

I am getting rather tired of this. I can't sleep. I can never sleep. I actually fell asleep before midnight last night and considered it a miracle. But most nights, I mess around on the computer or just lay there until finally, sleep happens. I know what my day brings the next day. It's always the same. Smasher doesn't know when I go to sleep and he really doesn't care, nor should he. He will wake up around 8:30 if I'm lucky and I hope putting him to bed at his normal bedtime tonight doesn't mess with him since it was daylight's saving time. We'll just have to see. We have a busy day tomorrow, full of cleaning and trying to get everything ready for 8 while I still can. I have to do this in short spurts as I get tired easily and need to rest. We also have to go buy Smasher some new clothes because, against his mother's wishes, he is growing - yet again. I was looking at footlocker.com tonight since we have giftcards there and almost cried when I realized that he is not in a size 4 as I thought, but a size 5 tennis shoe and I am actually going to have to start looking at size 6s. I am also going to have to start buying him 24 month old clothes. Today when we were driving back to town from meeting Smasher dad to pick him up he was sitting in the backseat saying all sorts of words and instead of a baby's voice I heard what sounded like a little boy's voice coming from my baby who everyday looks more and more like a little boy and less like my baby who should only be a couple of months old. I started crying. Now yes, I am hormonal from this pregnancy. I'll be the first to admit it. But would have cried anyway but as happy as I am that he is growing normally and is very successful in all he does, I can't help but miss it when he would fall asleep on my chest. He now is almost to my waist and gains an inch everyday it feels like. I'm not ready for this! What next? Sports? Video games? GIRLS!?! I'm not ready for any of it. I know. I'm being dramatic. But he was the only one with me through the hardest part of my life. Being a mom was not easy for me at first and he forced me to grow up and be the person I've become and most importantly, the mom I've become. He made me realize that going through all of the nights of walking the halls with him screaming in my ear just hoping for any relief, was all worth it. I'm so happy where I am in my life now and I'm so happy I'm not raising 8 by myself, but I would not change the first 10 months of Smasher's life for anything. Having to take care of him day in and day out was the most important thing I'v ever had to do and the most rewarding. So, I am sad to watch him grow so fast but extremely proud to watch what he is becoming.

So, for now, auf wiedersehen...and hopefully, goodnight.

A New Addition to the Family...

No. It's not 8. We still have a few weeks before then. 50 days to be exact. I'm a little excited and extremely ready.

But anyway, we got a 6 month-old kitten the other day from the SPCA. His name is Tchaikovsky since I have a thing about naming animals after composers. The SPCA had named him Morty but we'll call him "Chai" for short. He and Mozart get along rather well actually. Mozart is actually scared of him but still likes to play. This kitten is rather playful but cute and very sweet. Extremely people-friendly and very good with Smasher. Smasher seemed to be excited about it for the little bit of time he spent with him before he went to his dad's this weekend. He even said kit. He's starting to say all sorts of things so I finding that I have got to be careful with what I say. He is my baby boy always though and I find it bitter-sweet that he's growing up so fast.

The Hubby and I are thinking we should start a YouTube series called Tchaikovsky vs. Mozart. We'll see. Their, um, exploits have proved to be quite entertaining over the last couple of days.

So, things have kind of calmed down a bit since Thursday after the hospital trip but it's still been pretty bad. I just find myself being exhausted but my blackout spells haven't been too bad...until this morning. We woke up and got ready for Sunday School and church. We got in the car thinking we had 10 minutes to spare when I realized that wait - my alarm clock had not in fact set itself automatically like it should have for daylight savings time. Oh well. We still had time to make it to church so we did. I did pretty well throughout the service, but towards the end, I started getting shaky and dizzy so we decided to sneak out a little early. I'm just not feeling very well at all today and am thankful for the few hours I have before going to get Smasher so I might get a nap in. The Hubby is cooking us lunch and I'm sure it will be wonderful.

So, for now, auf wiedersehen....

Blackouts, needles and hunger,...oh my.

For months, I have been experiencing blackouts for no apparent reason. The initial thought was my blood suger, which is fine. But yesterday was bad. The Hubby said I was out for about 20 minutes and that I would start convulsing if he tried to touch me. I finally conceded and we went to the hospital. I know 8 was fine but we went to labor and delivery anyway to make sure my blood pressure was fine. While we were there my doctor wanted them to do some test. So they hooked me up to an IV and drew some blood. After about two and a half hours there, they said they wanted me to go to the ER so they could run any test that they needed to down there. I sat in the waiting room of the ER in the hospital gown they made me change into, hooked up to an IV for four hours. It was horrible. So they finally got me into a room and ran a series of reflex test and an EKG. The PA seemed fairly confident that it was probably just a pregnancy thing and it will go away after 8 is born, but she did want to run more test. I feel like I'm finally getting somewhere. This has been happening since October and I feel like I finally am getting some answers other than "It's low blood sugar." I have to call today and schedule an EEG, MRI and I'll have to wear a harness monitor for 24 hours to make sure its not my heart. Hopefully I can get in early next week. We got to the hospital around 3:30 and left around 11:00.

We didn't eat before we went so we were absolutely starving and by the end of the trip, I was blaming The Hubby for everything. I feel really bad about it today. I'll have to do something to make up for it. We picked up Smasher from The Hubby's mom's house and tried to go to Taco Bell for something quick but they didn't have what I wanted so we went to IHOP for an omlet. Yes, I have turned into the parent that takes her small child into a restaurant at 11:30 at night. never thought I'd be one of those. Luckily he had been asleep since 9:00 and had woken up when we picked him up so he wasn't too cranky. I just felt bad and like I was being judged but gosh dangit, I was tired and hungry!

Smasher let me sleep until 9:30 this morning and I am so grateful for that since The Hubby has to work 4:45-10am on Friday mornings. But I'm afraid to pick him up becasue I'm so shaky but he seems to be fine playing in his crib with some toys until The Hubby gets home and can lift him out of his crib. I'm really swollen today from the IV fluids but I hope that will go away throughout the day. Smasher's dad is coming to get him today and while usually I hate to see him go for the weekend, I really need this weekend to sleep. I'll miss him. I always do. But he needs some dad time so it'll be okay.

I'm just glad that I have so many people who are supportive and so many prayers for my family. They mean the world to me. Just as long as everything is safe for Little Miss 8 and Smasher, then I'm alright.

So, for now, auf wiedersehen...

It's a zoo out there

I felt amazing yesterday. I woke up feeling well=rested and energized. It was a rare day for this third trimester girl. I got up. Got Smasher breakfast and then awoken The Hubby. I wanted to go to a zoo!

Luckily, The Hubby has Wednesdays off and lately I've been feeling like we really need to spend as much time with Smasher as possible while he's still an only child. I've been wanting to take him to the zoo for awhile now. He's gone before with his dad and his Apple but never with me and I was getting a little down about that. While it was not perfect weather wise yesterday, we packed a few sandwiches, a couple of sippy cups and bottles of water and headed off to Wichita. We tried once before to go to the Wichita zoo but ended up going on the only day of the year that it was closed. That was back in September. We made the best out of that day and The Hubby and I agree that that is when we fell in love. It was one of the best days of my life, but I still wanted to go to the zoo. The weather forecast for Wichita was a high in the mid-50s and some rain, but that didn't deter us one bit. We got there before the rain and in the three hours we were there it really only rained on us for about 15 minutes. The Wichita zoo has a great children's area where there are three different farms. An Asian farm, and American farm and an African farm. Smasher loved those because sheep and goats would walk right up to you and a couple even nibbled on his shoe. The Hubby has been playing Zelda lately and found a chicken to chase. It was cute. Smasher and I both laughed. We then got followed by a peacock for a while. Smasher saw lots of ducks and can now say duck to go along with his quacking that occasionally makes an appearance in his high chair. We went and saw tigers (which is Smasher's favorite animal) and we were kind of disappointed because, while everything was out (well almost) they were all sleeping. I think the coolest thing was the gorillas though. We went to the gorilla habitat and were the only ones in there. I was getting extremely worn out by this point so we sat in there for a little while. A gorilla with two fist fulls of hay comes up to the window right in front of Smasher and just sits there for 15 minutes eating his lunch. It was awesome! Smasher was riveted. As we left he even blew kisses (his new favorite thing) to the gorilla. He was so good all day yesterday and I know he was getting really tired on the way home. I did pretty well for being 31 and a half weeks pregnant. We made it through the entire zoo. However, I am really glad we didn't wait to go. I don't think I would have lasted much longer.

One of my biggest things as a mom, is educating my children to be kind, respectful and eager to learn about everything! I think making trips to places like zoos and museums and concerts (in a couple of years) is a way to do that. Just watching Smasher "ooh and Ahh" over the animals is worth dragging my huge pregnant butt all over the 16th largest zoo in the US. It's worth getting rained on for the last 15-30 minutes of our trek. It's worth sitting in a car for 4 hours round trip. I'm going to miss him being an only child. I'm excited about 8 and I know they are going to have so much fun together but I'm going to miss days like yesterday where it was just me, The Hubby and my Smasher. I think we'll go back to the zoo sometime in the late summer/early fall just because I don't want him to forget all of the things we saw (and I like zoos) but next time will be dramatically different. His sister will be with us and while our family is going to an amazing and close family, I will miss the way things are right now.

Bless his heart...

I have had too many cravings this pregnancy. With Smasher I craved cheese fries and chicken nachos, but they had to be from certain restaurants. With 8, I crave Mexican shrimp cocktails, nachos, chips (plain or BBQ) with sour cream, okra, and my ultimate craving - The Mr. Goodbar. Now, I don't think my husband understands how these craving things work. We were in the doctor's office this morning and I say, "I want a Mr. Goodbar." The Hubby laughed and said, "You had a king sized one last night." I said, "So?" He then proceeded to ask if there wasn't any other kind of candy that I liked. I explained to him that I don't like chocolate all that much but I do like Almond Joy and anything with caramel and chocolate, but I'm stuck on Mr. Goodbars right now. He then asked it I would eat a Hersey bar. No. Peanut M&Ms. Yes, but I'd prefer peanut butter M&Ms and I don't want them right now. I wanted a gosh darn Mr. Goodbar!!!! Later we headed to our local grocery store to pick up a few items. I stopped to get plain potato chips for our tuna casserole which we made tonight (new recipe and I didn't like it one bit. I'll tweak it.) and they were having a 2/$6 so I got a bag of BBQ chips as well. I've done pretty good with my eating habits lately, but I needed some chips and sour cream. Well, The Hubby just starts laughing at me and telling me that the combo of BBQ chips and sour cream sound dubious. They were incredible. He just doesn't understand.

Today I realized that my little boy is 15 months going on 15 years. He screamed when I told him he couldn't have a drink of my pop and stomped/ran to his room and slammed the door. What the crap? I laughed...really hard. I checked on him a few minutes later and all was fine. He giggled when I made fun of him for being ridiculous. I just can't believe I had to deal with that today. I seriously felt like I was putting up with a teenager.

We had an appointment today. 8 is doing well. I did go into the hospital last night. No contractions or anything, just really bad pain. Everything checked out fine and while I still hurt pretty bad, she's fine and that's what's important. The Hubby has been great and pretty much waits on me hand and foot. We're almost done now. 31 weeks today. I can't wait to meet her.

I can't believe how much God has blessed my life. I have an incredible son whom I love so very dearly. My husband is such a good man and is an awesome father to both a child who is not his by birth and one that isn't even here yet. And I have a beautiful, precious little girl on the way. We may not have a whole lot of extras or opportunities to go out and do things, but we make the best of what God has given us and we're content with that. I sometimes lose sight of the fact that I have all of these things in my life going for me. They're staring me in the face and I sometimes I completely miss it. I've learned to be THERE. Just be THERE. In THAT moment. The past is the past. No use living in it. The future is the future. Not a whole lot expect preparation that can be done for the future. The most important thing is NOW. RIGHT NOW!!!! I don't want to miss anything in my children's lives. I want to be there for everything! When Smasher gives his first performance, I want to be the one screaming the loudest. When 8 gets to the top of the rock climbing wall, I want to be there clapping for her the longest. I just don't want to miss anything...

...including my sleep (but I really was serious)

So, for now, auf wiedersehen...

So I messed up...

I accidently posted a post on my other blog yesterday that was supoosed to be here so if you want to ready that one go to http://www.mylittlegreenaliens.blogspot.com/. That's my new blog about trying to go "green" and drag along The Hubby and Alien #1 (Smasher) and eventually Alien#2 (8). I'm really enjoying doing all the research for what it's going to take to go green in Enid, America. We shall see!

It's been a great day so far. This afternoon will be busy but for now I will enjoy the peace and quite. Smasher is playing quietly in his room and 8 has calmed down for awhile. I'm doing some laundry while browsing the internet for cute baby stuff. Neither of them need anything, but I just can't help but look. Etsy has got to be the worse site in the world. Not really. I love it, but I keep finding things "I can't live without." But alas, I keep living without them. Sadness prevails. 8 has plenty of clothes right now. I have told The Hubby that we cannot buy her anymore, but I didn't say anything about headbands and I have found some uber-cute ones. Maybe just one or two wouldn't be too bad. I mean, I doubt anyone will mistake her for a boy which is the point of the headband anyway but if she's anything like her brother, she'll be born with a full head of hair anyway. I wouldn't be surprised. The Hubby's hair is really thick and mine you can't even run your fingers though. She'll be set I'm sure.

I'm actually washing all of her clothes now and will put them away in the drawers until she gets here. I was worried about how I was going to fit all of her clothes and Smasher's clothes in one kind of small bedroom, but miraculously, I seem to have room for everything. Now if I could only find room for all of the adult clothing in our house I'd be set.

Today is Smasher's first day in cloth diapers...I LOVE it so far. But so far we haven't had any #2s :S...That's the part I'm worried about. I still have to order some more for her considering the one-size ones I have may not fit her too well at first.

Smasher is in an incredible mood today. He woke up at 7:15 (I'm not sure why) so I gave him a bath and got him some breakfast. After that I gave him a bottle of juice and he took a two hour nap! Lucky mommy except that I was wide awake. After The Hubby woke up we went to IHop for breakfast/lunch. Smasher just played and talked the entire time. He's becoming such a little man. When we got home it was so nice that we decided to hang out outside and get some play time in. But then Smasher, in typical Smasher form, fell and hit is head on the slab of concrete that serves as a second parking place at my house. He stopped crying after a little bit but was so clingy we decided to go in and play. Oh well, it's supposed to be nice until the weekend so we're hoping for some park time sometime in the near future.

We'll my dear friends, enjoy your day! It's beautiful outside...at least in Enid.

So, for now, auf wiedersehen...